Saturday my two kids and I attended a birthday party on the Toot Toot Taxi in the Santa Barbara Harbor.  It was beautiful, hot, the perfect day to be out and about.  We meet the party and make our way down the dock and onto the little boat.  The ride was super exciting, especially if you are 3 years old.  The kids screech and take turns driving Toot Toot.  After checking out the pier, the local barge with more than a ton of pelican shit on it, and the buoy with seals we head back to the dock.  Carefully we shuffle about 10 3-7 year olds off the boat.  Jokingly we laugh nervously about keeping them walking straight and out of the water.

Instantly, time stops.  Little Inez fell in.  I look around and everyone is frozen.  I look down and see giant eyeballs underwater, hands grasping up and bubbles as she begins to sink down to the bottom of the harbor.  Memories of my own personal nightmares of my kids drowning and not being able to get to them flash through me.  In my dreams, I'm frozen, unable to move.  Sort of like the others around me in this instant.  But this time, I'm not waking up in horror.  I jump in, purse on shoulder, grab any part of the baby that I can and toss her up to the dock into waiting arms.  She coughs a little bit, cries and is ok.  I jump out of the water, feeling like superwoman.  Totally high on adrenaline.  Tons of commotion on the dock.  My heart beats in my ears and I feel out of my body at the same time.  Aware of everything.  Every blade of grass, word spoken, color, movement, sound, sight.  Crystal clear clarity.  Someone says to me, "Good thing you were there." and I said,

"I'm sure somebody would have jumped in and seen her".  

Then, a stranger puts his hand on my shoulder and says to me, "But you did."  I start sobbing instantly.  Inez's mom holds and comforts her.  All I can think of are the bubbles.  "What if?"  My mind runs a million times over.  "But you did" fills me with a sense of warmth and unconditional love, more than I've ever felt in my life.  Finally, I was at the right place at the right time. 

 

Atha - in the here and now...  where all moments of my life have brought me.  Every single experience leading up to this.  I feel like I've won the gold medal.  Saving a life is priceless.  In gratitude I am swimming.

Kiss your babies!!  With so much love

Marie